Over at Horrornews.net, I take a look at The Predator.
Archives For Film
Over at Screen Realm, I review Aussie thriller Pimped.
Over at FilmInk, I interview Jessica Leski about her documentary, I Used to Be Normal.
What do a clown, a hacksaw, a brutally murdered journalist and a reference to Silence of the Lambs have in common? Well, they all play a part in Damien Leone’s Terrifier, a brutally violent slasher that plants both its feet firmly in the aesthetic of the 80s.
After an opening that gives more than a discreet nod to Nightmare on Elm Street, the film sees two college students being stalked by the maniacal Art the Clown (David Howard Thornton), a monochrome killer whose creepiest affectation is the distinct lack of noise he makes. Even when screaming in a violent rage, barely a peep comes out.
Based on Leone’s short film of the same name, which ended up playing a large part in the anthology All Hallow’s Eve, Terrifier is aimed squarely at those people who found Hostel to be too plot heavy. From the minute Art catches sight of his two victims, Tara (Jenna Kannell) and Dawn (Catherine Corcoran), the film becomes nothing more than a long chase sequence loaded with gore. The only real plot development is the arrival of Tara’s sister, Vicky (Samantha Scaffidi), and several disposable men. Not that that is a bad thing. Terrifier’s raw simplicity is actually one of its strengths. You just may want to look elsewhere if you’re after anything with a bit more meat on the bones. Speaking of meat, Leone is clearly a man who delights in making his audience squirm with scenes of vulgarity that make good work of the film’s limited budget.
So, sure, if this sounds like your cup of tea, then drink up. However, before diving in it seems fair to point out that at times Terrifier relies too strongly on the torture porn tropes we all assumed had died after the straight to DVD effort that was Hostel 3. Case in point: a centrepiece of the film sees someone being split down the middle in an excruciatingly blunt manner. It’s uncomfortable and not in the way you’re expecting. It’s hard to say why, in a film that sees a clown running people over whilst listening to freestyle jazz, scenes like this unsettle the most. Perhaps it’s in Leone’s execution (pun not intended) which walks a thin line between the depraved and the titillating. This critic is no prude, but sometimes you just have to say, ‘nope’.
If you can overlook these moments, then you’ll certainly get a kick out of Terrifier. Particularly Thornton’s performance as the mute Art. Terrifying? Maybe not. Uncomfortable? For sure. It’s certainly one of the bleaker films streaming on Netflix right now.
Dorian Gray (2009)
So, how do you turn a novella which is mostly exposition and suggestion into a ‘summer’ movie? Well, if you’re director Oliver Parker (St Trinian’s), you add a load of nudity, some wooden acting, and finish it off in the 1910s just so you can have a car chase…
Any subtlety of the first hour is lost in a sea of floating CGI nonsense in the final act. You’re left wondering what the point of it all is? That said, it’s not as bad as that abomination, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
Jurassic Shark (2012)
Another entry in the ‘Big Shark is Bigger Than is Expected! Ooh Scary!’ genre is Jurassic Shark. Reminiscent of Roger Corman’s school of filming – take a heist script and stick a monster in it – the film sees a group of ker-razy kids getting caught up in the playful shenanigans of a bunch of art thieves. Oh, and a Shark from the Jurassic period, because history.
After losing their booty in the middle of a Jurassic Shark infested lake, the group of art thieves try to formulate plans to get it back. Nearly 90% of these involve wading into the water and being killed instantly. You may not be surprised by this,but there are much better Giant Shark movies to be found.
100 Ghost Street: The Return of Richard Speck (2012)
Following on from the exploitative nature of 8213 Gacy House, the Asylum crew build their latest cheapovision horror around the legend of real life serial rapist and murderer, Richard Speck. People run through dark corridors, then walk, then run some more, then shout, ‘What, what the eff was that?!’ whilst running. It’s all very tedious and reaches the pinnacle of vulgarity when we, the viewing public, are treated to a two-minute sexual assault scene by Richard’s Ghost. 100 Ghost Street plays like a bingo card for all other found footage horrors, showing a lack of originality I haven’t seen since Exorcismus. Avoid like the plague!
Founded in 2007, Astron 6 is a Canadian production company specialising in 80’s aping, schlocky movies that routinely dip their toes in the horror/comedy pool. The genius of Astron-6 is that you really feel that their works are a labour of love. Unlike something like Poolboy: Drowning out the Fury, they don’t just don a funny wig and wag their fingers at the clichés of the 80s in a snarky fashion. They embrace those clichés and tropes to add colour to their dark, comedic landscapes. They have a number of features and short films out, but here’s just a few of my favourites.
Mankind has been taken over by the denizens of Hell led by the evil Draculon (Adam Brooks). A nameless soldier (Matthew Kennedy), brought back to life as a cyborg known only as Manborg, soon finds himself fighting tyranny alongside a gang of futuristic gladiators/freedom fighters. Can good overcome evil? Sure, why not.
Manborg has an incredibly tight budget, but that doesn’t mean it’s limited in scope. Director Steven Kostanski (The Void) uses a heady combination of green screen and models to create dystopian backdrops that utterly convince. Well, maybe not completely convince. This is, after all, a nod to straight to video flicks and a little complacency is more than allowed.
All of Astron 6’s films are laced with black humour of some kind, but Manborg somewhat bucks the dark trend with an almost innocent sense of self. There’s a lot here that reminds you of Mel Brook’s filmography, where prison guards lament unrequited love for their prisoners and our heroes stop the action to make noodles. In summary: it’s a definite must see.
Father’s Day (2011)
Chris Fuchman (Mackenzie Murdock) has become one of the most feared serial killers in Tromaville. Targeting only fathers, his crimes have become legendary. Hot on his tail is Ahab (Adam Brooks), a man hell-bent avenging the death of his own father. Joining him in his quest is Twink (Conor Sweeney), a young male prostitute and Father Sullivan (Matthew Kennedy), a naïve and eager to please priest (Matthew Kennedy).
Filmed on a budget of $10,000 and directed by Astron 6 as a collective, Father’s Day is a balls to the wall, schlock fest that tips its hat to the exploitation films of the 70s. As gory as it is funny, it delivers a ballistic 90 minutes that never lets up. It’s near knuckle jokes will not be for everyone, but if you’re willing to let Father’s Day wash over you then you’re guaranteed a good time. Plus, it has one of my favourite downbeat endings ever.
Cool Guys (2010)
Cool Guys is the tale of two nerds, Chad (Conor Sweeney) and Rick (Matthew Kennedy), looking forward to finally getting laid over the summer holidays. With Uncle Murphy (Adam Brooks) in tow to help guide the boys, they hit the beach, attempting to meet girls and avoid the steely glare of the Mayor’s son (Falcon van der Baek).
If you love your 80s nostalgia, then the above description will sound like any number of sex comedies, from Meatballs to Revenge of the Nerds. The twist, for want of a better word, of Cool Guys is the halfway gear change when directorial duties pass from John Hughes to David Lynch.
An act of debauchery (well, several in fact) is so sudden that it’ll take a while to process. Cool Guys’s short running time means there’s no time to process and as we enter the third act, Chad and Rick’s noble actions – to raise money to save a beloved building – is tainted by everything we’ve seen previously. The film having already played with, and destroyed, our expectation of 80s movies, now wants us to go back to what we though before. It’s like watching Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and expecting to still cheer Ferris on at the parade after you’ve just seen him beat a homeless man to death in the second act.
Cool Guys is a lot of bleak fun, but you will most certainly feel dirty in the morning.
Death Wish IV: The Crackdown (1987)
The Death Wish franchise trundles on with this new chapter that sees J. Lee Thompson take over directing duties from Michael Winner. Paul Kersey is back and has settled into a relationship with another disposable girlfriend who may as well be called ‘Token Female Character’. This plot progression in a skirt has a daughter who quickly dies of a drugs overdose, which of course lights a fire in Kersey’s belly for some instant justice.
With Death Wish 3 being such a euphoric high, Death Wish IV: The Crackdown sees its audience coming down hard and fast. This is a decidedly dull entry in the franchise that echoes Death Wish II with its lack of originality. Bronson has clearly given up the ghost, speaking his lines with one eye off camera checking to see if the ink has dried on his cheque yet.
By the far the only real interesting thing that happens in this after-school special of a movie is an opening dream sequence which sees Kersey gun down a perp that looks exactly like him. Waking in a cold sweat Death Wish IV suggests Kersey will do a little bit of soul searching and ask whether he’s become just as bad as the people he kills. Then, one overdose later, the prospect is thrown over a rainbow never to be seen again.
Death Wish V: The Face of Death (1994)
Well, it’s been seven years since the last Death Wish, so it’s time to warm up Charles Bronson in the microwave and stick him front of a camera. Cannon Films, the producers of the last two films, is dead but here comes 21st Century Film to save the day. It should be noted that 21st Century Film is owned by one half of Cannon. Yay! I think.
Paul Kersey is now under witness protection and in a relationship (yeah, I know) with Olivia, an ex-gangsters moll. Said gangster, Tommy O’Shea (Michael Parks) is up to shady business and when Olivia becomes a witness to his crimes, he sets about getting her killed.
If you’ve got this far in the series, you know where this is all going. However, despite the crushing inevitability of it all, Death Wish V reminds you that the franchise is actually somewhat watchable when it’s bathing in its own bloody-mindedness. Like Death Wish 3, Kersey has become a cartoon again; taking out baddies like a revenge thirsty Bugs Bunny. It’s all rather comedic and, as such, you can see a little sparkle in Bronson’s eye in the action. Yes, he looks way to old to be doing this, but he at lest looks like he’s having fun on set again.
Worth watching just to see Kersey blow someone up with a football.
Death Wish (2018)
Released only a few short weeks after the Parkland High shooting, anticipation for this remake of Death Wish with Eli Roth (Hostel) at the helm was running low. That said, when gun crime is so prevalent in American news, there’s perhaps no right time to release a piece of media that appears to champion gun violence. See, for example, Netflix’s Punisher.
Eli Roth’s films have never been particular favourites of mine. The Green Inferno is the only one that’s ever grabbed my attention thus far. Death Wish roughly follows the same plot as the original with Paul Kersey (Bruce Willis), now a doctor instead of an architect, seeking revenge for the assault on his daughter and murder of his wife. Actually, it’s about an hour of Bruce Willis looking terminally bored whilst he debates whether to get revenge before the final act sees his stunt man take over and skulls start getting crushed.
Willis has put more effort in the VOD films he’s been in of late than he does this film. When he laments over the assault of his daughter, you could almost be forgiven for thinking Roth edited in a rehearsal take by accident. The only person who comes out with any dignity is Vincent D’Onofrio as Kersey’s brother, and he is given very little to do. For a filmmaker who once showed us a man having sex with a roast turkey, it’s staggering how little imagination or energy has been pumped into this remake. Roth doesn’t even appear to be running on autopilot like he did in Knock Knock. This is just a tired film that tries to play both sides of the gun control debate whilst secretly championing lashings of spent bullets. So, I guess, in that sense, it shares a lot with the Michael Winner original.