It’s out with Warwick Davis and in with WWE wrestler, Dylan ‘Hornswoggle’ Postl, in this reboot/reimagining/retooling/retiling of the 90s slasher that spawned sequels no one really cares about. A group of crazy kids go on holiday to a part of Ireland that looks absolutely nothing Ireland. There they’re taken in by two walking stereotypes, who offer them an abandoned cottage to stay at. But saint and begorrah, it be infested with a creature that be after your lucky charms. Turning up the seriousness to 11, Leprechaun: Origins has no limericks, no green hats and no fun.
Deliver Us from Evil
We’re in New York and police officer Ralph Sarchie (Eric Bana) is investigating a series of crimes, when he inexplicably joins forces with a… sigh… priest. Cue lots of possessions, jump scares and Joel McHale wearing his hat backwards. This is a travesty in terms of horror, failing to add anything original to the genre. Should you see this in your partner’s Netflix queue, break up with them immediately. Seriously. There is no punchline. Clearly they are thinking about watching this with, which shows a distinct lack of love for you. I’m sorry, but it’s time to go meet someone else. You will get through this, I promise.
Killer Barbys (1996)
Jess Franco (Oasis of Zombies) directed this musical/giallo/horror comedy back in 1996 and if this is your first time being exposed to his work, then I’m sorry. Real life band The Killer Barbies play fictional versions of themselves who get caught up, all Scooby Doo like, in a mystery involving something, something, zombie, something, gore, something, and something. Oh, it’s very hard to raise even a stink up about this film. It’s a total mess, whose deliberate shabby charms fail to keep your attention past the half hour mark. Franco has a large fan base, but it’ll be hard to find anyone who would wilfully cheer this one on from the sidelines.