Rogert Ebert referred to 2010’s I Spit on your Grave as ‘a despicable remake of a despicable 1978 film.’ So, you have to wonder what he’d make of this; a sequel to the remake which also feels like another remake of the original. Jemma Dellender plays Katie, a wide-eyed innocent trying to make her mark in the catty world of modelling. Unable to afford a decent portfolio, Katie accepts an offer from three Bulgarian brothers to do photos on the cheap. Instead of glossy 8 by 4s, Katie is kidnapped by the brothers, smuggled to Europe and subjected to horrendous acts upon her person.
Unsurprisingly to many, Katie escapes and begins a campaign of violent revenge across Bulgaria, which takes up less time in the movie than the abuse our heroine is subjected to. The makers of I Spit on your Grave 2 seemingly believe that the ends justify the means: as long as we show X we can get way with Y. Instead, what transgresses over 90 minutes is vicious, nasty, soul crushing story telling that suggests the tide of torture porn, started by the likes of Hostel, has yet to ebb away.
Children aren’t born inherently evil except for in the movies. Take for example Mervyn LeRoy’s The Bad Seed or Stephen King’s Children of the Corn, where parents and other adults rue the day at the hands of fledgling ne’er do wells. In June, the latest film from L. Gustavo Cooper (The Devil Incarnate), the titular child is adopted by a loving couple and unwittingly sets about terrorising them. Unwittingly because unbeknown to June, as a baby, she was part of a sacrifice gone wrong, and now a demon sits inside her waiting to unleash the apocalypse.
It’s hard not to feel sorry for Starship Trooper’s Casper Van Dien, as the adoptive daddy whose wife (Victoria Pratt) appears to be deliberately ignoring June’s graphic crayon drawings and the homicidal supernatural events happening around them. But then mummy has her own secrets and as a shady adoption agency move in around the family, June appears to be struggling with her powers.
Cherry picking form the likes of Poltergeist, Carrie and The Last Exorcism, June won’t feel particularly fresh to harden horror fiends, but it’ll entertain, in some small measure, those who like their scares to be nowhere near 11. As genre film-making goes, it’s as safe as Fort Knox.
Where praise should be directed to is young Kennedy Brice as June. Being the lynch pin of events, and appearing in nearly every scene is tough going for anyone and Brice is reminiscent of a certain Linda Blair as she flips from cute as a button to hellspawn in the flick of a switch. Going by the rushed and open ending, there’s potential here for another chapter in June’s life, but it’s going to have to iron out its kinks if it’s to become anything more than an afternoon’s distraction.
The idea of man toying with the laws of nature and playing God can be traced all the way back to Mary Shelley’s seminal Frankenstein to more recent affairs such as Vincenzo Natali’s Splice. Closer to God, from writer/director Billy Senese, sits comfortably amongst its peers with its tale of a geneticist, Dr Victor, announcing to the world that he has successfully cloned the first human being. Unfortunately for Victor, the product of this experiment, baby Elizabeth, is not hailed as the next step in human advancement, but as a blasphemy and an affront to all that’s decent.
With his family in tow, the good doctor hides himself away, shaking his fist at a world that doesn’t understand. Meanwhile, his housekeeper’s take care of Victor’s first real achievement.
Senese’s film should be acknowledged for at least being restrained in the way it tells its tale. Victor, played by Jeremy Childs, could have easily been another Herbert West type, fiddling with test tubes and using the building blocks of life to create monstrosities. Instead he is a methodical man who is aware of his supposed crimes against humanity, but is at a loss as to way they are such a big deal. Although he sits up in his modern retreat, Senese paints each scene as if James Whale had taken the helm.
Which is all find and dandy. However, the film is so serious and portentous that it almost feels languid; as if not really concerned about reaching its end. That is, right up until all hell breaks loose in the final third and it becomes a creature feature with the modern equivalent of pitchforks at the gate being played out. In front of the baying mob, Victor cries ‘Is this what you were afraid of?’ The answer is, if we knew what we were looking at then maybe.
This review was originally published at filmink.com.au.
With the first book in the series being released in 1992, it’s surprising the Goosebumps franchise only started haunting cinemas as late as 2015. A large part of the problem is perhaps in the execution. How do you even begin to adapt an anthology series full of memorable characters, outside of giving it a TV show like they did in the 90s? Well, the obvious answer would be to do a portmanteau; squeezing three of the more popular stories into a two-hour feature and seeing if it sticks. That’s how I’d certainly do it, but I’m not Sony Pictures.
Goosebumps, from director Rob Letterman (Monsters vs Aliens) and screenwriter Darren Lemke (Jack the Giant Slayer), goes down the route of a traditional narrative, culminating in a showy finale that appears to be the prerequisite of all blockbusters currently. It’s not as bad as it sounds.
Zach Cooper (Dylan Minnette) has moved with his mum to the picturesque town of Madison after the death of his father. Struggling with the instant curse of being the new kid in school, as well as his mother being the vice principal of said school, Zach’s only real ray of light comes in the shape of Hannah (Odeya Rush), his next-door neighbour. Hannah is pretty, fun to be around and available. However, she’s also the daughter of Mr Shivers (Jack Black), a grumpy so-and-so who is quick to banish his daughter from seeing Zach.
Mr Shivers is, in actuality, famous author RL Stine, whose horror creations are real and trapped in locked books upon his shelf. When Zach accidently opens one of these books, it’s up to him, Hannah and Stine to put everything right.
Whilst I’ve already hinted that Goosebumps is a traditional narrative, it’s middle section is built out of episodic adventures where Zach and the gang go up against different creatures from Stine’s imagination. Things only become more cohesive once Stine’s ultimate creation – and fan favourite – Slappy the Living Dummy (Jack Black as well) escapes and tries to take over Madison. This gives the film some thrust and something to aim for, and, in doing so, manages to keep the film’s head above water for the rest of its running time. It’s not completely perfect, but when it works, it works well.
With zombies, giant manatees, killer clowns and psychic poodles parading through Madison on the hunt for Zach, Goosebumps at times feels like a watered-down version of Cabin in the Woods. Like the true antagonists of that film, all the horrors faced in Goosebumps come from Stine’s mind. He tells us regularly that he writes his tales to scare the kind of people that were mean to him as a child. Black manages to play this off fairly well, without being overzealous in his performance. It’s rare we get to see Black do something outside of his comfort zone, and it’s a pleasure to see it even in family friendly fare such as this.
For fans of the books, this is the quickest way to see all your favourites on screen at once. Though most will have to make do with seeing their favourites in short bursts, with the film only being able to give so much time to so many. Those who haven’t dip their toes in the real RL Stine’s work are likely to have just as good time as anyone else sitting down to watch it. And, in fact, with its mild scares, cartoonish threats of violence and references to b-movies such as The Blob, Goosebumps is the perfect gateway film to get your little ones into appreciating the horror genre.
Surprisingly funny and fuelled by a desire to charm the pants off you, Goosebumps is the ideal film for families who don’t mind things that go bump in the night. If you liked Paranorman, then you’ll like this just as much.
In the 2010 film, a young teen, Martin (Connor Paolo) is taken under the wing of Mister (Nick Damici) after his family is butchered by vampires. Turns out America has been flooded by vampirism, turning the country into a wasteland where survival of the fittest runs deep. As Mister and Martin search for a place called New Eden, they encounter numerous other stragglers whilst avoiding vampires and religious zealots, The Brotherhood. Episodic in its narrative – you can tell it started off life as a potential web series – Stake Land managed to at least build a fairly cohesive universe. Its box office may have been small, but its fan base was legit. As such, the surprise isn’t that it has a sequel, but that it’s taken so long to arrive. And has it been worth the wait?
Stake Land II: The Stake Lander catches up with Martin several years after his time with Mister. He’s settled down in New Eden with Peggy (Bonnie Dennison), the plucky woman he met in the dying embers of the first film. Now a father who recalls his time with Mister as fairytales for his daughter, Martin’s happiness is cut viciously short when, again, his family is brutally slaughtered by a reassembled Brotherhood, led by a powerful new vampire known only as the Mother (Kristina Hughes). With his world in tatters, Martin goes in search of Mister hoping that he’ll assist him on his quest for revenge. Spoilers: he finds him and the two are soon on the road again with the smell of vampire blood in their nostrils.
John Noonan 