In neon-soaked exploitation drama, K-11, when record exec, Raymond Saxx (Goran VIsnijc) is brought into LA County Jail off his face, a turn of events lead him to being thrown into the titular unit reserved mainly for transsexuals and gay men considered a danger to society, presided over by the sadistic Lt. Johnson (D.B. Sweeney). Trying to prove his innocence, Saxx finds himself being dominated by the very personification of fire in stilettos, Mousey (Kate del Castillo), whilst becoming a father figure to the naive but unhinged Butterfly (Portia Doubleday).
Reminiscent of the bunched up fist that was Scum, First time director Jules Stewart (Yes, Kristen Stewart’s mum) seems to be on a dare; hell-bent on piling one taboo on top of another without really trying to advance the plot. Tonally It’s all over the place; sloppily strutting from high camp to evasive aggression in the blink of a false eyelash.
K-11 is a vicious film that tries to tackle so many subjects (drugs, rape, child abuse, homosexuality, loss of innocence), it never really manages to get a firm hold on anything in particular. A success in aggression, but a failure in any other department.
A missing European space probe mission arrives back on earth with most of the crew dead and three naked comatose humanoids in the ship’s cargo. Whilst under quarantine, the humanoids turn out to be overly sexual, energy vampires. One of which escapes, sucking the lifeforce out of every Tom, Dick and Harry, with an SAS colonel and the sole survivor of the probe in hot pursuit.
As high concepts go in sci-fi/horror, this is up there with some of the best. Vampires, spaceships, nudity, zombies, a cameo by Patrick Stewart; there’s a hell of a lot going on in this party bag of a movie from Director Tobe Hooper (Texas Chain Saw Massacre). However, spread across 115 minutes, this feels like a case of throwing everything at the screen and seeing what sticks.
At its best, Lifeforce has some great set pieces coupled with some showy special effects. However, at its worst, which is most of the time, it’s an undercooked slice of genre filmmaking, suggesting Hooper’s heart wasn’t totally in this. This is evidenced by wooden acting, a Mancini score that doesn’t fit the film tonally and a storyline that flails around before finishing itself off with a whimper.
In 1959’s Killer Shrews, James Best (Dukes of Hazzard) headed up a group of folks trapped on island off the coast of Texas, surrounded by ravenous oversized shrews. Over 50 years later and Best returns to the island with a reality TV crew, only to discover the shrews are still there and hungry as ever.
The original Killer Shrews is a much-derided film, known mostly for special effects that consisted of overly friendly dogs draped in fur coat. The sequel sees the shrews realised in a mixture of CGI and animatronics, but don’t expect blockbuster production values here.
Seeing as it’s clear everyone is playing this for laughs, it should be easy to overlook the low production values, but the forced humour elicits groans throughout. The performances by those who weren’t in Dukes of Hazzard, are as stilted as the CGU animation of the shrews. Bruce Davison (X-Men 1 & 2) looks positively bored as the villainous Jerry Farrell who leads he shrews on their blood-soaked assault.
Neither funny or scary, The Return of the Killer Shrews biggest scare is the threat in the end credits of an oncoming third film.
The idea of man toying with the laws of nature and playing God can be traced all the way back to Mary Shelley’s seminal Frankenstein to more recent affairs such as Vincenzo Natali’s Splice. Closer to God, from writer/director Billy Senese, sits comfortably amongst its peers with its tale of a geneticist, Dr Victor, announcing to the world that he has successfully cloned the first human being. Unfortunately for Victor, the product of this experiment, baby Elizabeth, is not hailed as the next step in human advancement, but as a blasphemy and an affront to all that’s decent.
With his family in tow, the good doctor hides himself away, shaking his fist at a world that doesn’t understand. Meanwhile, his housekeeper’s take care of Victor’s first real achievement.
Senese’s film should be acknowledged for at least being restrained in the way it tells its tale. Victor, played by Jeremy Childs, could have easily been another Herbert West type, fiddling with test tubes and using the building blocks of life to create monstrosities. Instead he is a methodical man who is aware of his supposed crimes against humanity, but is at a loss as to way they are such a big deal. Although he sits up in his modern retreat, Senese paints each scene as if James Whale had taken the helm.
Which is all find and dandy. However, the film is so serious and portentous that it almost feels languid; as if not really concerned about reaching its end. That is, right up until all hell breaks loose in the final third and it becomes a creature feature with the modern equivalent of pitchforks at the gate being played out. In front of the baying mob, Victor cries ‘Is this what you were afraid of?’ The answer is, if we knew what we were looking at then maybe.
This review was originally published at filmink.com.au.
With the first book in the series being released in 1992, it’s surprising the Goosebumps franchise only started haunting cinemas as late as 2015. A large part of the problem is perhaps in the execution. How do you even begin to adapt an anthology series full of memorable characters, outside of giving it a TV show like they did in the 90s? Well, the obvious answer would be to do a portmanteau; squeezing three of the more popular stories into a two-hour feature and seeing if it sticks. That’s how I’d certainly do it, but I’m not Sony Pictures.
Goosebumps, from director Rob Letterman (Monsters vs Aliens) and screenwriter Darren Lemke (Jack the Giant Slayer), goes down the route of a traditional narrative, culminating in a showy finale that appears to be the prerequisite of all blockbusters currently. It’s not as bad as it sounds.
Zach Cooper (Dylan Minnette) has moved with his mum to the picturesque town of Madison after the death of his father. Struggling with the instant curse of being the new kid in school, as well as his mother being the vice principal of said school, Zach’s only real ray of light comes in the shape of Hannah (Odeya Rush), his next-door neighbour. Hannah is pretty, fun to be around and available. However, she’s also the daughter of Mr Shivers (Jack Black), a grumpy so-and-so who is quick to banish his daughter from seeing Zach.
Mr Shivers is, in actuality, famous author RL Stine, whose horror creations are real and trapped in locked books upon his shelf. When Zach accidently opens one of these books, it’s up to him, Hannah and Stine to put everything right.
Whilst I’ve already hinted that Goosebumps is a traditional narrative, it’s middle section is built out of episodic adventures where Zach and the gang go up against different creatures from Stine’s imagination. Things only become more cohesive once Stine’s ultimate creation – and fan favourite – Slappy the Living Dummy (Jack Black as well) escapes and tries to take over Madison. This gives the film some thrust and something to aim for, and, in doing so, manages to keep the film’s head above water for the rest of its running time. It’s not completely perfect, but when it works, it works well.
With zombies, giant manatees, killer clowns and psychic poodles parading through Madison on the hunt for Zach, Goosebumps at times feels like a watered-down version of Cabin in the Woods. Like the true antagonists of that film, all the horrors faced in Goosebumps come from Stine’s mind. He tells us regularly that he writes his tales to scare the kind of people that were mean to him as a child. Black manages to play this off fairly well, without being overzealous in his performance. It’s rare we get to see Black do something outside of his comfort zone, and it’s a pleasure to see it even in family friendly fare such as this.
For fans of the books, this is the quickest way to see all your favourites on screen at once. Though most will have to make do with seeing their favourites in short bursts, with the film only being able to give so much time to so many. Those who haven’t dip their toes in the real RL Stine’s work are likely to have just as good time as anyone else sitting down to watch it. And, in fact, with its mild scares, cartoonish threats of violence and references to b-movies such as The Blob, Goosebumps is the perfect gateway film to get your little ones into appreciating the horror genre.
Surprisingly funny and fuelled by a desire to charm the pants off you, Goosebumps is the ideal film for families who don’t mind things that go bump in the night. If you liked Paranorman, then you’ll like this just as much.
John Noonan 