Archives For November 30, 1999

Summer of Blood

November 19, 2014 — Leave a comment

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Ask the average person on the street what an atypical vampire is and they’ll probably go through the usual criteria: Suave; amoral; sexy with a hint of danger and, god help us, they may even say they sparkle. (Yes, I know, Twilight was six years ago. No, I will not get over it) Well, allow Summer of Blood to shatter a few people’s preconceived notions.

Erik, played by Onur Tukel (Richard’s Wedding), is the shallowest of all shallow human beings living in New York. He’s not mean or malicious, but he’s not someone you’d want to get trapped in a lift with; taking to inane monologues like the rest of us take to breathing. He’s a member of generation X, trying to slum it with the millennials. He celebrates his Turkish heritage by using it as an excuse for why he can’t do things, like cooking once in a while for his girlfriend.

Somewhat oversexed, he freely admits that his idea of discipline is managing to not watch porn for three weeks. Such is his ineptness that when he’s faced with someone bleeding profusely from the throat at the start of the film, he asks them to use sign language to tell him what kind of assistance they require. This is not a man who deserves the adequate job he’s got, let alone the gift of immortality. However, that gift is indeed given when a chance meeting with a vampire leads to Erik transforming into nosferatu. An exceedingly hairier version anyway!

Read more at: http://horrornews.net/90186/film-review-summer-blood/#ixzz3JTYZK1cF

About The Author
My name is John Noonan. I’m a freelance writer that specialises in arts and entertainment. From genre flicks to chick flicks, I love the stuff. So much so, I started a film review blog at earlybirdfilm.wordpress.com. I also contribute to online and hard copy press, including FilmInk magazine.

If you like what you see, I am available for hire. You can contact me via the social media channels above or the form on my home page.

The Babadook (2014)

November 19, 2014 — Leave a comment

The Babadook is masterpiece. There, we said it. ‘Pull-quote baiting hyperbole,’ we here you cry, but we honestly mean it.

Directed and written by Jennifer Kent, The Bababdook focuses on a widowed mother, Amelia (Essie Davis), and her young son Samuel (Noah Wiseman). Sam is a troubled soul who is need of constant attention from Amelia. He fears the monsters who live under his bed and closet, constructing gadgets to ward off the evil creatures. To Amelia and us, they are simply products of an overactive imagination. Amelia, meanwhile, struggles from horrifically losing her husband in a car accident. She daydreams through life, moving from home to work to home again. When Sam is removed from his school, Amelia struggles to cope with his demands and in an effort to appease him one night, she allows him to choose a book for bedtime. He chooses The Babadook, a pop-up book that warns of a creature that stalks the night. Once you know of its existence, it refuses to go away. And from there things, as to be expected, go awry.

Read the rest of the review at: https://earlybirdfilm.wordpress.com/2014/11/10/the-babadook-2014/

About The Author
My name is John Noonan. I’m a freelance writer that specialises in arts and entertainment. From genre flicks to chick flicks, I love the stuff. So much so, I started a film review blog at earlybirdfilm.wordpress.com. I also contribute to online and hard copy press, including FilmInk magazine.

If you like what you see, I am available for hire. You can contact me via the social media channels above or the form on my home page.

When it was announced that Michael Bay was involved in the latest big screen adaptation of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the wailing and gnashing of teeth of a fanbase comprised of thirty year olds, who should know better, could be heard from space. But was they’re primordial rage before they picked the kids up from school justified?

Well, not really.

Let’s us be honest, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is far from perfect, but it is an extremely entertaining – whisper it – kids film. Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael and Michelangelo don’t have the gritty realism some would expect or even demand from reboot. After all, we’re in the age of grit aren’t we? A time where even Superman is not allowed to smile. However, whilst the heroes in a half-shell certainly kick arse, they are also a bit silly; getting into childish fights with each other and being scalded by Splinter. Even when the film looks like it’s about to veer off into dark territory, it pulls a joke from its sleeve that leaves a large grin on your face and reminds you of the days when blockbusters weren’t always just about appealing to the fanboys. It’s everything you remember from Saturday mornings.

Read the rest of the review at: https://earlybirdfilm.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-2014/

About The Author
My name is John Noonan. I’m a freelance writer that specialises in arts and entertainment. From genre flicks to chick flicks, I love the stuff. So much so, I started a film review blog at earlybirdfilm.wordpress.com. I also contribute to online and hard copy press, including FilmInk magazine.

If you like what you see, I am available for hire. You can contact me via the social media channels above or the form on my home page.

Chastity Bites (2013)

September 29, 2014 — Leave a comment

Okay, let’s be straight with each other: Chastity Bites is a confused film. Reading the blurb, I really wanted to like it. It’s a comedy horror with vampires, set in a high school. And hey, it’s got a cameo-ing Stuart Gordon on side as a disgruntled teacher. All aboard for fun time. Unfortunately, it tries to be so many things, when it really feels distinctly like a failed TV pilot.

Read the rest of the review: http://horrornews.net/88272/film-review-chastity-bites-2013/#ixzz3EhVoRmBc

I’m pretty convinced that at some point in my seventh year on this earth I was approached by some guys in suits who sat me down and said, ‘Now look here, kid. We wanna make a picture, see. What are the kind of things you like?’ Immediately, I spouted off a list of things including zombies, killer robots and at least one of the three boxers from Rocky IV. As soon as I was finished, the two men disappeared in a blinding light. I never had the evidence to prove this had happened. But now, finally, I do. The film that I sold to those (clearly) time travelling film execs was Battle of the Damned.

Read the full review: http://horrornews.net/88271/film-review-battle-damned-2013/#ixzz3EhVIAO00